Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I need water and some morals
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
