Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
