Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
