i need an iv and a liver transplant
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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