ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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