Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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