if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
