bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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