I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
