It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i was born a porn star she said
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize