To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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