Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
In America we eat man semen.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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