honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
