He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
