dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
