i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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