Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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