i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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