we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
