We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
