dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
