maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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