Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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