Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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