do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I will pee on everything he values.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
