we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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