Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
