Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize