Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
