Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
this beer tastes like vomit already
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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