She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
