Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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