Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
