I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
