Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
