Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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