Whod you bang
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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