how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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