If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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