discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
