I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
