well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
