I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
