As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
