i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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