I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
