ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
