I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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