i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
