Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
