Say something about gay babies.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
ugly people sure do ruin things
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
