Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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