woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
