i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize