I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
