So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
