how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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