The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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