Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
