Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
