she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I need to calm my uterus...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
