I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize